things are different now, we're drifting apart, and I don't know how to fix it.
you're starting to be closer to other people, and I'm just sitting here watching the world go by without me.
I don't know what to do, it hurts.
I hope this is just a phase and we will get over it, because if not I won't know what to do.

You are my best friend, my shoulder to lean on, the one person I know I can count on, you’re the love of my life, you’re my one and only, you’re my everything.

and you just let them go

the worst thing is realising your "closest friend" the person you thought you could count on was never truly your friend. realising they were never there when you were. realising you wasted your time. realising you got nothing out of it but bitter hatred, confusion and regret. but most of all; feeling alone.

you're neither friend nor foe now

why?
is it for the better?
what did I do wrong?
was it me?
no explanations.
I don't get it.
you're neither friend nor foe now.
it's a strange place.

we're strangers.

and it's just me and myself. again. i guess.

update: holidays - part II

Okay, holidays are nearly over, this is my last week, and the reality is barely sinking in haha. 

Picking up from the previous post... 

Since after a nice weekend, the rest of the week was spent either at home or at the library, with the occasional tennis training and games. My racquet actually snapped its strings during a game, and I fell from second place to second last hahahaa. :'(

On Thursday went out to the city to have lunch and hang out at Hyde park with a friend. Hyde park has to be one of my favourite places in Sydney where I've shared many memories in. I remember one time, my best friend and I were helping with donations for a charity and we walked into Hyde park, and couldn't resist the amazing weather so we just laid on the grass, listened to music and talked for about an hour, haha. 

On the 14th, met up with a school friend to study modern history together. Notably, we talked more than worked, but towards the end, we felt the time slipping so we worked together on reading ahead for a topic, and managed to scrape through a textbook. 

The next day, the 15th, I met up with another school friend to go to Newtown to catch up and have a few bites. I had missed her birthday party on Friday the week before, so I made it up to her to try some highly recommended cafés and food places in Newtown. We went to The Pie Tin and the Black Star Pastry, where we tried the famous strawberry and watermelon cake. Both places are incredible, and I've fallen in love with Newtown and it's weirdness. It's unique and gives off an easy-going vibe, and as you walk around the place, it has an other-worldly feeling- just feels like your on another planet across the other side of the world. 

On the 16th went off to the library with another friend, unsure if I was productive that day, but managed to cross off a couple of things from my to-do list. 

Friday, I stayed at home and attempted to study, but again, unsuccessfully. Giving up for the day, I left for a family dinner which was nice, since I don't go out at night often, though I should, the city is so vibrant at night, it's refreshing. 

On Saturday I woke up early to attend a tutor chemistry practical session at UNSW with a fellow friend. We had already covered this at school, but my friend wanted someone to accompany her so I figured, why not, haha. Afterwards, went out for a family lunch, and bought a daily planner (finally) before heading home to study. 

Sunday again attempted two questions of math, couldn't get anywhere so I gave up. Decided to watch the movie 47 Ronin afterwards at night. It was alright, the acting at the beginning of the movie wasn't that great but the action and fighting scenes were on par. 

Today is Monday, just finished another tennis training session and had lunch. I'll be once again attempting to study after my shower, we'll see how that goes haha ! 

ask.fm/mishqurl 

update: holidays

Have had numerous requests for an update of my holidays so far, so I'll do my best in remembering. (:

For the first couple of days, I was pretty much lazying around the house, rejoicing (a little too much) about the fact I had 6 weeks to relax (reflecting on that, I now have 3...). 

Christmas; my family usually doesn't celebrate Christmas, so we visit our friend's place annually for a lunch feast and catching up. No, we don't do the whole unwrapping of presents, though I usually give them something, because it feels so empty without some presents! This year, I gave them Starbucks mugs which were holiday themed since I thought it'll be nice to have some festive feels in our house haha. 

So I've started tennis training again which I stopped for studying but resumed again for the holidays to keep fit. Didn't do so well for the first couple of weeks, especially during the annual competition, however during the term comps, I had a bit more luck there haha. 

On the 27-29th of December, we left for a short family road trip to Taree/Port Stephens to enjoy camel riding, horse riding, the beach and family time. It was really nice, though I have to say Taree was a bad destination choice on our behalf since there wasn't many attractions/"fun-stuff" to do around the area. 

On New Year's Eve went out to see the 9pm fireworks at the harbour with a friend which was nice. :) 

Came home to watch the 12am ones though and played cards with the family. 

On the second day of the new year (2014), went over to one of my friend's place to have a study sesh. Initially, we planned that day for some dissections to satisfy our evil needs to cut up flesh and inspect their insides and chuck meat everywhere. Haha just kidding (wtf did I just read moment much). Nah, we just felt our biology course wasn't covering as much dissections as we'd like, so we wanted to experience it ourselves. The only problem was trying to find the parts for the dissection since hardly and butchers appeared to sell eyeballs and stuff haha. So we settled on studying...only to find ourselves browsing through tumblr and doing about 3 hours of half-assed studying. 

On the 3rd of Jan, I headed to the library again in hopes of completing some work, only to find I'm too tired to concentrate haha. What is life... Can't say I didn't try haha 

Yesterday (the 4th) went to watch the hobbit: the desolation of smaug, which was alright. It's interesting, but it isn't one of those movies that linger in my mind after I've watched it. 

Today, headed to Cronulla beach to catch some waves and sun. Very relaxing, though now, I'm even more convinced I should do some work. 

So some plans for the holidays: 

- 10th will be going with another friend to the library for a modern study sesh and catch up over lunch (hopefully this time we'll be more productive)

- 16th will be celebrating my friends birthday (rather belatedly) at some cafés for a good food adventure 

Looking forward to studying haha, that's all for now! 

Suggestions/ requests to: ask.fm/mishqurl

photo diary: taree/port stephens

Some snaps that were captured at the quick roadtrip to Taree this Christmas weekends. 

new beauty products

Recently purchased these beauty items, and I'm quite enjoying them so here are short reviews to read :

The Body Shop Almond Hand & Nail Cream 

Packaging: 7/10

really nice and handy, and can fit into your bag/purse so it's great for on the go. Only down side is that the metal squeezy tube pushes the product out a bit when you open it so you get a bit more than what you want, but I guess the good side to this tube is that you can get your money's worth by being able to get down to the very last bit. 

Texture: almost gel-like but creamy, feels refreshing

Fragrance: smells quite strongly of almonds and nuts

Price: quite expensive for 30mL, it retails at $9.95 for this size or you can get a larger one for $17.95 

Performance: 7.85/10

very moisturising on the hands. My hands are noticeably softer 

The product: 6.5/10 

Looks like a harsh rating but it's a good hand cream, definitely really nice for dry skin but there are better ones on the market for a lower price. 

Perfect Potion soothe cleansing gel 

Packaging: 6.5/10 

Meh, it's okay, made out of plastic bottle but it's sturdy. Looks a bit cheap, but don't judge the product by its cover! ;) 

Texture: soft gel, very little to medium foaming 

Fragrance: strong herbal and essential oils scent, but I find this really invigorating in the morning, some may dislike this 

Price: expensive. This small bottle cost $29.95. 

Performance: 7.65/10

cleanses skin quite well, leaves bit of a tacky feeling after. The scent is really refreshing but it does linger on the skin after cleansing. But definitely does the job and doesn't break me out which is a plus. 

The product: 7/10

Very good but considering the price it can do better, I'll still been the scout for another one. 

Perfect Potion geranium moisturising emulsion

Packaging: 7.5/10 

Although it's made out of plastic, it's really sturdy and the pump makes controlling the amount of product that comes out very easy. 

Texture: gel-like consistency 

Fragrance: a bit strange. Like herbal and essential oils scent but mixed with a really strange artificial cream smell. Those with a sharp gag reflex like me will need to hold their breath. 

Price: again quite expensive $29.95 

Performance: 8/10

This is really really good. I only use it in the morning to help control oil but also deeply moisturise, and layer a light moisturiser on top. After two weeks of use, there has been a significant difference in the texture and feel of my skin, it feels softer and smoother and more 'plump'. Hasn't broken me out at all, and I'll definitely continue to repurchase this. 

Loreal ELVIVE Extraordinary Oil 

Packaging: 8/10 

Feels expensive, it's pretty heavy and encased in a heavy fake-glass bottle.

Texture: heavy oil, but once spread out it's silky smooth and weightless, feels like it melts into your hands and hair 

Fragrance: pleasant subtle nutty smell 

Price: not bad since this bottle will last ages as you only need threes drops or more for the whole length of hair depending how long your hair is

Performance: 8.25/10

Makes your hair heavenly silky and soft. Feels lightweight and doesn't weigh your hair down at all. Super versatile, I find it best to use after your hair dries as a styling conditioner. 

Hope you enjoyed this, let me know at ask.fm/mishqurl 

Have a good one xo

who else eats straight out of the tuna can ?

mbti test

Recently just took the mbti test. For those who don't know what it is, it's a personality test where you answer a series of 'yes' or 'no' questions and the score will generate your personality in four letters to summarise your answers. There are 16 different types of personalities, all of which are equal, and there are no better ones than others. This test is really useful if you want to know more about yourself (ask your friends to do it, so you know more about them ;) ) and also finding adequate career options that suit your personality the best.

I took my test on this website (aka, there are no viruses or scams): http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

It has concluded that I am a INTJ and once I researched a bit deeper on this and the traits don't surprise me at all. They are actually really accurate. But surprisingly, I read that my personality type was one of the most rare, and also that Michelle Obama and Jane Austen has/had the same personality as me.

In summary of what I have read;

- I seem to have high self-confidence, which can come off as arrogance to some people
- I have a deep respect for knowledge and intelligence, so I immediately disregard other people's ideas especially if they are fuelled by emotions
- that being said, I'm open-minded to new solutions
- I have a rational and logical thinking, making me suitable to science and engineering careers
- I am a natural leader but I don't take up the "spotlight" if someone more extroverted takes the position
- I am imaginative and strategic
- I despise those that depend on their emotions to make decisions and ideas, and think of them as either immature or irrational
- I am very independent and like to be honest and direct
- I am able to analyze anything that life throws at me, uncovering the underlying methodology and then applying it in practice

That being said, as all personalities, I have my weaknesses;

- very clueless at emotional situations, especially when it comes to romantic relationships
- may come off as insensitive since I don't value emotions over logical thinking
- judgmental - I reach my own conclusions and stick to them
- likely to over-analyse everything
- perfectionists
- hopeless at social situations
- loathe highly structured environments - I tend to hate authoritarian figures, especially those that make no sense 
- really hard to be friends with me; and most of the ones I have will not experience any sort of emotional attachments or affection from me (haha poor them) 

I've taken most of this information from this site which you might like to check out if you do take the test since it goes through a really good in-depth talk of your personality:
http://www.16personalities.com/

After all of that in-depth reading and research, I now know what I have to improve on for myself, but that being said, my personality is who I am, so I'm not trying to change that, just trying to improve the weaknesses I have.

Have a good one xo